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A Letter I Won't Send

from This Gift of Knives by Pink Flag

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lyrics

I could say that I'm sorry
but won't really mean it
My love's no appliance
I can't guarantee it
my affection's no faucet
I can't turn it off
when it gets inconvenient

one more time tell me you want me
pretend like you mean it
I reject your rejection
at least for these reasons
I'm not sure I'll be here
not when it's so clear
in your mind I'm gone

'cause unlike the saying
I think absence is needed
it helps me to forget
the things that I wanted
til I think I just dreamed them
I never believed them
and in time it leaves my mind

I can say that I get it
we both know it's bullshit
I don't know what will happen
and neither do you
I just need to know I did everything I could
I was totally out there and honest

and you, you are stubborn,
but me, I'm capricious
you had your mind mde up but
mine, it still switches
from things as they could be to things as they should be
I don't care what's right anymore

so I wrote it all down
in a letter I won't send
a list like you gave me
chock full of good reasons
that left me dumbfounded as the night that we first kissed
and both knew what we did

you are steadfast,
not influenced by the pack
you leave me speechless
be it furious or glad
and you're so familiar
like an older brother
and the affect, accent
of your voice is classic
and thinking
and music
and making
aesthetics

You can say you don't want me
I won't take it badly
I am here in whatever capacity you'll have me
I am trying and I hope that's good enough

oh no
oh no

credits

from This Gift of Knives, released September 8, 2015
Jessica Caesar: Drums
Princess Ojiaku: Bass
Betsy Shane: Guitar, Vocals

Recorded by Dustin Creider at Regular John Recording

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Pink Flag Durham, North Carolina

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